How to Improve Key Relationships

Make others feel Important

The most successful people, whether socially, in business, in politics, or whatever, are usually people who focus more on showing interest in other people, rather than trying to come across as interesting. It has been said of former President Bill Clinton that when he spoke with people one on one, they felt like they were the only person in the world at that moment, and that all the attention and energy of the most powerful man on earth was focused exclusively on them.

Making the Shift

So how can you make the shift to become someone who’s more interested than interesting? It starts with changing your mindset: Deciding that this is a change you really want to make. Because frankly, this isn’t a mindset that comes naturally for most people.

Then you must discipline yourself to make it happen. When a conversation starts, don’t think about the next thing you’re going to say; instead, listen intently and think about follow-up questions you can ask so the other person will keep talking more. The easiest question is simply, “Tell me more.” Say this and mean it—if you’re not genuine, people will sense it in about two seconds.

This kind of listening is known as “active” listening because it focuses on what is actually being said and what it means to the other person. You can expand this by reading the other person’s body language, emotions, tone of voice, etc. and incorporating this into your responses.

Build Stronger Relationships

As a professional life coach, I’ve built my career around doing just this. It has paid dividends many times over in helping me build many strong, mutually beneficial relationships, both professionally and personally.

Everyone longs to truly be heard. Unfortunately, there aren’t very many good listeners out there who are as focused on being interested in others as they are on telling others how interesting they are.

Become one of these people, and it will change the nature of your relationships forever. I can guarantee it.